Be Selfish by Anaelle Auguste
Dear Zamar,
Some of us were taught that it is selfish to put ourselves first, so we take care of everyone else but ourselves. That, we even do in the name of love. We love others, allow them to treat us below our standards. We stay, hoping if we love them hard enough, if we prove we are worth it, maybe, just maybe they will love us the way we want to be loved; they will treat us the way we want to be treated.
No more!
I am learning to love on purpose.
For me to do so, I need to love myself first, instead of loving someone else and wish they would love me back, all the while dying for their approval and acceptance.
Listen, you never have to trade who you are for love. Love is supposed to inspire you to be a better version of yourself, not force you to be a shadow of who you are meant to be. Love shouldn’t be draining you but strengthen and empower you. Otherwise, it’s not love; it’s an illusion of love.
You are a great gift to humanity. You are unique; there’s only ONE you. Don’t rob humanity of that gift trying to be loved by someone else. Don’t dim your light to get their acceptance; that’s not humility. Even if your light makes them uncomfortable, keep shining!
Note that Jesus says “Love your neighbor as you love yourself,” not the other way around.
The order is to love God, love yourself, then love others.
His love has to fill you and reach the deepest part of your soul. You have to let his love fill every nook and cranny of your heart, every empty space left by past hurt and heartaches. Once you’re filled you will overflow, then and only then can you love on purpose. If you want to pour into others, let it be from your overflow, not from your leaks. If your heart has been broken, let God mend and renew it and make it whole again. So, as he pours his love into you, your heart will be ready and available to contain it. Once you’re filled with God’s love, you’ll love yourself until this self-love becomes contagious and inspiring.
If loving yourself first is considered selfish by their standards, then by all means, be selfish.
Contently Yours,
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Love this. pun intended.
His love teaches us how well we are loved so we can go out and love others.
It is our purpose, according to Romans 8:29, to be conformed into the image of the Son of God. That is us taking on His character which is love.
Thank you for writing this.