A Fight for Control from Potiphar’s Wife by Kathleen Derbyshire

Potiphar's Wife

A Fight For Control From Potiphar’s Wife

What have you done to get control over what you were desperate for?

As I am writing this, I am reminded of the things I have done because I was desperate for someone to show me they love me. I have loved, but few have loved me the way I need to be shown love.

Our Biblical Ground Work: Genesis 39

No matter what story we read, we are going to find people who are attempting to control another person through whatever means they have available to them. We all have a desire to be in control of our own life.

Potiphar’s Wife had many tools at her disposal, but what she appeared to lack was the love she needed from her husband. Verse 6 tells us that Potiphar left everything he owned under the authority of Joseph. All he worried about was his food. Let me repeat that, all he worried about was his food.

That statement is very telling and her desperate actions are even more telling.

She was unloved by her husband and he paid little attention to her. She went to Joseph for the control over love she needed, but he was just one more rejection added to her long list of rejections. I know exactly how she feels.

Biblical Strategy for Living: Taking control over love or anything else is how we become desperate for it.

Potiphar’s Wife asked Joseph, day after day, to give her attention, but he refused her. He knew it was a sin to give into her. She was desperate for some kind of control over this situation but when he rejected her the last time she was humiliated. Do you know how she felt?

Has another person humiliated you when you were trying to get some attention from them? It happens when you try to get the attention of someone who is also only interested in control over what they desire. They use your desperation, as a tool, to humiliate you and get what they want. They are desperate for something, too. So much so they are willing to use you to get it.

The more desperate you become for attention, the more Selfish Samantha, our “what about me” Demonic Diva, is able to put you in a position to be humiliated. The problem is the “what about me” blinders you have on will blind you to their self-serving scheme.

When all the attention you are used to having is negative, you grow up not knowing what love looks like. When Jesus begins to talk to you, He shows you how much attention He is willing to give you. He has to teach you first what is appropriate. That is the hard part.

Personal Growth Area

This belongs in the personal growth area of life. If you are attempting to figure out how to combine personal growth and Christian living together, contact me. I have developed the perfect way for you to learn slow and steady.

Kathleen is a Christian Author and creator of The Bible Gals Community for women in their midlife to set Jesus as priority one on Facebook. Kathleen loves writing because her writings reflect what she really has a passion to do – empowering women to become more purposeful toward their Kingdom Cause in their midlife.

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The Lesson Judah Won’t Soon Forget by Kathleen Derbyshire


The Lesson Judah Won’t Soon Forget by Kathleen Derbyshire

Have you been taught a lesson by someone completely unexpected?

Judah is right there with you. The Lord has used a woman to implement His plan from the day the plan was created. Ignoring that throughout the Bible could be detrimental to all of us, for we all need to know that women were part of His plan from the beginning.

Biblical Ground Work: Genesis 38

Judah, against God’s requirements, married a Canaanite woman named Shua. With her he had three sons, Er, Onan and Shelah. He got a wife, from Canaan, for his eldest son Er. He was evil so he was killed by God. Then Judah gave her to Onan to fulfill the family laws in those days. This law kept women from being removed from families upon the death of her husband. BUT Onan was having none of that, so God killed him too.

Judah, obviously shocked overs his sons’ death, and probably blamed it on Tamar instead of obeying God, he sent Tamar to her own house as a double widow. He is not having his last son killed by God through Tamar.

Tamar, being the ingenious woman God made her to be, came up with a plan that would fulfill her need to carry on the family name. As a result she is brought back into the family and Judah moves back with his extended family.

Biblical Life Lesson: Your Teacher could be the person you are most trying to avoid.

I know this lesson more today than at any other time in my history. I got mad at God for advancing people in my field before me. In comes Michael Hyatt. He is a productivity guru. When I first got one of his emails, I got raging mad at God for not promoting me for doing the same work. Michael was new to the market (fairly new to productivity and goal setting) and thriving at reaching thousands while I was reaching tens. Argggggg!!!!!!

It was a humility lesson I will never forget because today, I listen to Michael’s podcast, Lead to Win, with his daughter Megan Hyatt Miller (who is now leading his company). I have a meeting with her on my bucket list. I want to become the Holy Productivity guru for busy Christian women.

Romans 8:28 is the guide for this kind of humility. Strength with humility are part of God’s plan for you. He wants you humble, before Him and others, knowing that He is in complete control of everything that is happening. Plus He wants you strong so you can handle what the world throws at you.

Both of those great heart habits are the bi-products of the fruit of the Spirit. When you are growing from Christ you are becoming more humble and stronger.

A humble woman is not a weak person but a strong person.

A humble woman knows when God is trying to strengthen her.

This strong woman knows how to humble herself before the Lord.

The Teacher

Tamar was used to teach this very concept to Judah. He left his family, AND GOD, to venture out on his own. His weakness was apparent by how evil his sons had become. God brings Tamar (a gentile) into the picture and she teaches Judah how to humble himself and become the strong man the Lord needs him to be for the future.

Who has taught you this lesson? How can you advance your Kingdom Cause because of it?

Kathleen is a Christian Author and creator of The Bible Gals community for women on Facebook. She loves writing because her writings reflect what she really has a passion to accomplish – Empower busy Christian women to become more purposeful toward their Kingdom Cause so the Kingdom advances and lives are changed including their own. 

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The Ripple Effect of Tragic Decisions by Kathleen Derbyshire

Is your life riddled with tragic decisions that breed more tragic decisions?

Right up until Jesus called me when I was 40 and beyond, I made so many tragic decision that my life became a mess. I am not saying my life was devoid of any good decisions, but the bad ones weighed a lot more. The best decision I ever made was to become a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Biblical Ground Work: Genesis 34

Leah and Jacob had six boys and one daughter, Dinah. We do not have any history on her. The only thing we know about her is that she made a decision that resulted in a series of tragic decisions.

Dinah decided to go into Shechem to see the daughters of the land. She would been have dressed differently, smelled differently and acted differently than the daughters of the land. When Shechem, the son of Hamor saw her, he took her into his house and raped her.

He (Shechem) kept her in his house and told his daddy (Hamor) that he wanted to marry her.  His daddy went out to Jacob and proposed marriage but wickedness was on everyone’s mind.

Dinah’s brothers proposed to agree to the deal of Hamor and marry their daughter, and giving of their daughters, but first they would have to be circumcised. They agreed and that was their tragic decision.

Biblical Life Lesson: The ramifications of one bad decision are far reaching.

We are not shaming Dinah for what happened to her. We are discussing her decision to go into a town she knew was full of wicked people. That was the bad decision that catapulted all the rest of the bad decisions that followed.

Shechem’s decision to take Dinah and rape her was on him. Whether he became smitten with her or not, he broke a moral law that could not go unpunished. Shechem’s father made a decision to avoid punishing, and not even reprimanding, his son. For his actions, he created a desperate scenario for Dinah. She was trapped in Shechem’s house while this whole thing played out.

Jacob staying silent about it was emasculating for him because it was his job to protect his daughter. Therefore the brothers felt they had to step in although Jacob did not stop them.

This decision of Dinah’s revealed the hearts of all the men involved in this situation. Every bad decision reveals the hearts of people. If your heart is darkness than your actions will show that.

“The way of the fool is right in his own eyes,
but a wise man listens to advice.” (Proverbs 12:15 ESV)

Foolish decision may not result in the loss of your life, but they can result in the loss of someone else’s life. The ramifications of one decision is far reaching, even into another generation.

Being productive in the kingdom of God relies on whether or not you can make good decisions most of the time. Plus what actions you take after you make those good decision. Because a good decision goes nowhere if follow through is not attached to it.

Have you decided to maximize your time and your talents for the Kingdom? Get it done by following Kathleen here

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The Unfortunate Quadraspouses of Jacob with Kathleen Derbyshire

Jacob's Family

What do you do when you find yourself in an unfortunate situation that you cannot change?

I was brought into salvation in 2003 while married to an unsaved man and rearing four unsaved kids. No one else in my family was saved either. What does one do in this impossible situation?

Biblical Ground Work: Genesis 29 – 33

Jacob, the deceiver, is forced to go live with Uncle Laban who is in love with stuff and money. Jacob has met the male match with himself, for certain. Laban is a master deceiver, but Jacob has the Lord on his side.

Jacob meets up with Rachel, a shepherdess, on his trip to Haran. He falls in love with her and works for Laban for seven years to marry her. Laban, a skilled deceiver, switches Rachel for Leah on their wedding night and Jacob is forced to work for Laban another seven years. What an unfortunate situation Leah finds herself in.

Jacob fulfilled his seven days of marriage to Leah then marries Rachel, whom he loved. He worked another seven years for her which now is adding up to fourteen years of work for Rachel. Leah has a servant named Zilpah and Rachel has a servant named Bilhah. Jacob comes into Haran alone and now has four women to care for. What an unfortunate situation for them all.

Our Biblical Life Lesson – If we allow it, EVERY situation will be unfortunate, but that is NEVER so with God.

Each woman of Jacob found themselves in an unfortunate situation, but each one of them had a choice in that situation. They could choose to do what is right but unfortunately they chose to do what was best for themselves.

Each situation we find ourselves in is meant to grow us to think and act in the will of God. Romans 5:3-4 says, “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

We find ourselves in all manner of situations and how we forge our way through them is how we will come out of the other side of them. The statistics are high that women will be assaulted in one way or another throughout their lifetime so that means that abuse is the norm not the abnormal. How have you come out the other side of that? Are you a victim with no strength of character or a overcomer with hope?

Your hope is the opportunity to use your unintended, unfortunate situation for good so that you may bring hope to others. Can you look back at your unfortunate situation and see the hand of God all over it? Could it have been worse? Could you have been worse?

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Join me every Friday at 2pm EST for the Facebook LIVE “A Soul on Fire” here to talk about the best ways of using your time and tenants for the glory of God every moment of the day.

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The Game NO ONE Ever Wins by Kathleen Derbyshire

Kathleen Derbyshire- Favouritism

The Game No One Ever Wins in Favouritism

Have you been the favoured child?

Jacob and Esau have a story to tell about favouritism in the family and it is not pretty nor lucky.

Biblical Ground Work: Genesis 24-28

Sarah dies and Abraham sends his servant out to find a wife from his own family for Isaac. He arrives at Abraham’s family and meets up with Rebekah just as he had asked the Lord to do.

The servant retrieves Rebekah and bring her home to his master. Isaac and her fall in love.

The familiar story of infertility plays out with Isaac and Rebekah for 20 years. Isaac pleads with the Lord for her, and his plea is granted. Rebekah becomes pregnant with twins. They are struggling in her womb so she enquirers of the Lord to find out why.

And the Lord said to her:

“Two peoples shall be separated from your body;
One people shall be stronger than the other
And the older shall serve the younger.” (Genesis 25:23)

When Rebekah gives birth another struggle ensues (Genesis 25:24-28) and will continue all the days of Isaac and Rebekah’s life. Jacob, Rebekah’s favoured child, means “supplantor or deceiver”. We watch as Rebekah trains up her son to live up to his name and Isaac trains Esau (hairy) to live up to his new name Edom, red faced with negativity. 

Our Biblical Life Lesson – No one ever wins with favouritism.

I know exactly what it is like to give birth to twins. My eldest boys are fraternal twins. I never favoured one over the other because I saw in my own family what favouritism had done. It was loud and proud. We have all lost each other. No one is winning in my family. We are separated by the animosity we have toward each other just as Jacob and Esau are separated by their animosity toward each other. 

Do you want your kids to love, admire and respect each other? Then you must put an end to the favouritism that either you grew up in or you are subjecting your children too. No one wins, including you. You will have constant bickering in your house because your kids will be jockeying for position.

Your job as a mother, sister, daughter, boss, grandmother, co-worker, servant of God, is to reflect Jesus without favouritism toward anyone. Even the Apostles were jockeying for position (Matthew 18:1-5; Mark 9:33-37) in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Ponder this.

What if your favoured daughter becomes a spoiled brat who wants everyone to serve her. Will you be proud? What if your lesser than child becomes a great leader? Will you be proud? What if the child you ignored becomes someone no one can ignore again by shooting hundreds of people? Will you be proud?


What if you didn’t favour any of your kids and all of them become who God created them to be? That is what should make you proud.

Kathleen equips and empowers women to be active and productive in the Body of Christ because they are highly needed. Astound yourself by doing all the things you are capable of doing and more with the:

“It’s Your Time” System. A Practical and easy way to organize time and talent to be more productive in your Kingdom Cause.

Contact Kathleen at kathleen@kathleenderbyshire.com for more details.

P.S. — You can join me every Friday at 2pm EST for the Facebook LIVE “A Soul on Fire” HERE to talk about the best ways of using your time and talents for the glory of God every moment of the day.

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A Desperate Need Can Turn You To Salt

Are you desperate to have what the world has? Are you as equally desperate to hang onto what you already have? What do you think you can take with you when you leave this world?

This is the unfiltered truth about desperation. It can turn you into a pillar of salt.

Our Biblical Ground Work: Genesis 13; 14; 19

We meet Lot in Genesis 11 but we don’t meet his wife until eight chapters later in Genesis 19. Plenty of years and activities go by in those eight chapters. Lot’s father dies in Ur and he moves to Haran with his grandfather Terah, Uncle Abram and Sarai, Abram’s wife. His grandfather dies in Haran and the God of Abram moves his uncle to Canaan, what his uncle is now calling the “Promised Land” so Lot follows his uncle. While they were there a famine came on the land so they all went to Egypt together and got kicked out. Something to do with his uncle and aunt misleading Pharaoh and a miraculous disease on Pharaoh’s house. 

Lot leaves Egypt with them and returns to Bethel. His uncle was very rich with livestock, silver and gold but Lot only had flocks, herds and tents. Their herdsmen began to argue so Uncle Abram came up with a brilliant plan to separate, because he wanted peace among them. He gave Lot first choice and he chose the Jordan Valley because it looked like the Garden of God and it was well watered. He wouldn’t have to work hard to find water, that’s for sure. Did he have a desperate need to get out of working?

Lot set up his tent near Sodom in the valley. He is no longer under the mentorship or guidance of his uncle. It is at this point that we find uncle having to intercede for Lot but had Uncle Abram separated from ALL of his family (Genesis 12:1) he would not have had to intercede at all. Lot moved from his tent near Sodom to a house inside Sodom. A clue about how desperate he was.

Our Biblical Life Lesson – A Rapture Ready Person Is Not Desperate For Anything Of This World.

Someone bound and determined to have what is pleasing to the eye or soul instantly is bound to become desperate when something negative happens to that which pleases them.

In comes Lot’s wife and daughters with the same desperate need, whether position or possession, no matter. They wanted what they saw and they wanted it now even at the detriment of their own souls.

The contrast between Abraham and Sarah, and Lot and his wife, is astounding. When you lose self control over what you want the “unfiltered truth” is that you are going to lose “self”.

Desperation leads to all kinds of sin. Desperation leads to the wrath of God because nothing will make you walk away from God faster than putting YOUR wants ahead of any one or anything.

We are going to leave this earth in one of two ways; death or rapture. BUT you can be guaranteed of this truth, you will take nothing with you in either of them.

The way to change your desperate need for the things of the world is to begin thinking in the will of God.

Thinking in the will of God will set your soul on fire to follow Jesus right into His vision for you. Nothing in this world can replace the feeling of fulfillment as you grow into who God created you to be.

Join me every Friday at 2pm EST for A Soul on Fire here as we grow together into the will of God with a soul on fire for Him.

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The Unprepared Freedom of Hagar

Do you feel like a servant to your family, your boss, your church, your friends or your God? But as soon as you are free you have no idea what to do with your time?

Biblical Ground Work – Genesis 16; 21:8-21

The Slave Girl, Hagar

Hagar, an Egyptian slave-girl (H8198), appears in the Text when her mistress, Sarah, wants to bring her into God’s promise for Abraham, Sarah’s husband. After Hagar marries Abraham and becomes pregnant, she despises Sarah, Abraham’s first wife, her ex-mistress but soon to become her mistress again.

An Angel of the Lord finds the fleeing Hagar by a spring of water. He sends her back to Sarah to yield herself “under her hand”. Before she leaves, He tells her Ishmael’s future (Genesis 16:11-12). She returns to Sarah, in obedience to the Lord, to give birth to Ishmael. Hagar’s time was devoted to her mistress and her son.

The Freed Woman, Hagar

Twelve years later, Sarah sees Ishmael mocking (H6711) Isaac and tells Abraham to drive her out from their household. God tells Abraham to comply with Sarah’s wishes because He will intends to take care of them. Abraham complies and sends them out the next morning. Hagar is now free to do what she wants with her time.

Hagar wanders in the wilderness of Beersheba until all of her food and water are gone. When she believes Ismael is going to die, she puts him under a bush. An angel speaks to her from Heaven to reassure her of God’s promise for Ishmael. He, then, shows her a well of water.

Hagar and Ishmael move to the wilderness of Paran and Hagar finds him a wife from the land of Egypt. And they both live happily ever after.

Our Biblical Life Lesson – Your Free Time is God’s Time

Hagar was a slave, then a wife, then a slave again and then a free woman. She never understood that freedom meant spending time on her own vision from God. She did not know how to spend her free time preparing for her future.

So many years had gone by, with one misunderstanding after another about the promise of God for her son. When the time finally arrived, Hagar was ill equipped to handle it. She had served others at her visions expense.

She was exactly where the Lord told her to be in this time. Although she had not become the woman the Lord needed her to be. She knew how to work for others but not for herself. She worked for the vision of others but not for hers. Any free moment she had she did not spend on knowing the Lord or herself better.

No matter where you are in reality, the Lord is expecting you to use your time wisely. Your vision is closer than you think. You can prepare for it even if you are not completely clear what your vision will look like.

Are you getting the help you need to prepare to fulfill your vision? What do you require to do the work Jesus is sending you to do?

The ladies in The Bible Gals are becoming empowered to grow into their purpose with vision. Join us today in this engaging Facebook community here.

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Sarah is Finally Able to Laugh by Kathleen Derbyshire

Have you been told God’s plan for you? Have you been waiting for a very long time for it to come into fruition?

Sarah waited her whole life to have a child. She was given a promise and became cynical waiting for it. Wouldn’t you?

Biblical Ground Work: Genesis 11:27-23:20

Sarah (meaning “my princess”) was called that by the Lord from her name Sarai (meaning princess). She is Abrams brother from a different mother and she is from Ur of the Caldeans. Her father was Terah (so was Abrams) and her mother is unknown.

Sarai and Abram were married and moved from Ur to Haran where there father died. God moved them from there to Canaan. The promised land. She and her husband were wealthy beyond measure. So wealthy that every time they passed a town the people knew there was something about them that was different.

The only problem is that you cannot buy a pregnancy. Money could not get Sarah pregnant but God could. The Lord promised Sarah would have a son but he didn’t tell her when. Here is this mystery about the future again with another one of God’s women. 

The thing I love about this story is the contrasting belief between Abraham and Sarah. Abraham was a hopeful believer but Sarah grew to be a cynical believer.

Time and testing will either cause you to end up on the hopeful side of the waiting fence or the cynical one. Both of them were waiting on the same promise so what made them difference?

The roles they were defined by changed everything for both of them. Abraham created an army, took care of the workers, and took care of the livestock. He had his hands full with his work. What do you think Sarah was doing? Did she have enough work to keep her hands occupied?

Was she like the Proverbs 31 woman?

Not as far as we can tell. There is no mention of her doing any notable work except when the Lord came to discuss Sodom with Abraham. Her name is not attributed to anything other than beauty.

Her hands were waiting for the work of a child and since that wasn’t happening she attempted to get it through Hagar. And when that didn’t work she gave up waiting and turned cynical. When the Angel of the Lord came to talk to Abraham about the impending birth, plus Sodom and Gomorrah, she mocked God by laughing at him in her current cynical state.

Can you blame her? She is now 89 and Abraham is 99. Abraham laughed because he was excited, she laughed because she was cynical. She waited all those years for a son and now that she is old will she have him. But it would happen and she would finally laugh with joy.

Biblical Life Lesson: What you do with your time before your vision appears will determine what you do with your time after the vision arrives.

Sarah wasted 11 years of her life being cynical about not having Isaac when she could have enjoyed the journey to her son.

Are you waiting on your vision to arrive? What are you doing while you wait? Are you using your time wisely?

I am having a free Biblical Goals Bootcamp for women beginning Feb 22-26 in The Bible Gals community. You can sign up here

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The White Picket Fence: Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries (Crown for Life Series Book 1) by Kathleen Derbyshire

White Picket Fence

The White Picket Fence: Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries (Crown for Life Series Book 1)

Life is filled with decisions we must make. Are we saying yes when we should be saying no? Why do we find it so difficult to say no when it is warranted? When should we say yes?

Biblical Life Skills teacher Kathleen Derbyshire introduces a new way to illuminate this issue in our lives. then eliminate it. Her masterful use of fictional stories that intertwine with real life lead us through a process of discovery that is unique and encouraging. Her white picket fence analogy for boundaries gives women a visual they won’t soon forget.

Check Out These Other Books You May Be Interested In

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The Water IS Rising by Kathleen Derbyshire

Kathleen Derbyshire Water Is Rising

When you know something is coming, set your mind to prepare for it, rather than trying to avoid it.

The LORD spoke to Noah, giving him a vision and instruction for what is to come. But what kind of vision doesn’t involve the whole family? Noah leads his family on this giant sized quest and his wife, knowing the water was going to rise, runs to it, taking her daughter-in-law’s with her.

Biblical Ground Work: Genesis 6-8

Noah’s vision was for him and his family to work together to accomplish this task. Your vision from God includes whatever is happening right now, with your family in this pandemic. Noah, his wife and all of their kids knew what was coming. Their job was to prepare for it to save themselves and select animals. This work would then prepare them for their next task — rebuild the earth.

They spend 120 years building a huge boat in their back yard while everyone around them watched. Jesus even mentioned the ignorance of the people around them as they prepared it for operation (Matthew 24:37; Luke 17:26). They were not ignorant of Noah building a boat, they were ignorant of what it meant. As a result, they were washed away by the water.

Biblical Life Lesson: Your vision is a future event you need to prepare for.

I think Noah and all the other Bible characters were so fortunate. The Lord called them out, then told them what they would do for Him. Thomas was told what it would be like for us. Doubting Thomas said he would not believe Jesus had risen again until “he himself” sees Jesus. Jesus said in response, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:24-29)

Noah, Thomas, Paul, Peter and more, saw the Lord and were told directly by Him what they would do. We do not see Him but we have seen His vision for us through many different sources such as a flash picture, a movie real or even a person giving you a snip it of what the Lord requires of you.

You have seen a mental image of God’s direction for you (your vision). Whether you believe it or not is irrelevant. Look back in your journals. Find God’s vision in your Bible. Look back in your memory and find it. If you have seen it, it is yours to prepare for.

Noah’s wife prepared for the flood. She was not caught off guard when the waters rose and we should not be caught off guard when Jesus comes. His vision for you is the same today as it was yesterday and it will be the same tomorrow. Noah’s wife’s story is a biblical lesson that you can live life to.

Are you getting the help you need to fulfill your vision?

What do you need to do the work Jesus is sending you to do?

The ladies in The Bible Gals are being empowered to walk in their purpose with vision. Join us today in this engaging Facebook group here.

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